no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize