You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We're too hungover to prance.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
