I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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