I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
