I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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