Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
