Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
