pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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