you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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