At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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