So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He? As in you personified your dick?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
