If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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