last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
