I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize