dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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