I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
