Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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