I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
