I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
