I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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