The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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