Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
