I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Girls should come with a carfax report
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
