You work out of a Hotel?
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize