My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
