OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
