idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
