I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I am one with the molecules
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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