Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Randomize
