hell yes lets make some ravioli
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
