Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
