Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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