is your mom at the bar?
Your dad touched me again.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
