Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
