it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Just puked most of my soul out..
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
