I am spending my child support on dildos
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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