is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
