I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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