My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
