You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
