I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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