i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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