Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Couch. On fire.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
