its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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