Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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