the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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