god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
it's like iHOP with fire
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
