don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
