watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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