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Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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