how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
bring money and cleavage
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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