Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
