I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
