I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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