I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Threesome in a minivan. New low
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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