I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
