i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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