Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
