We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
