The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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