you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
