Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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