My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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