I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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