Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
