I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
