OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
