this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize