is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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