i just wanna soil my oats bro
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
