Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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