Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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