East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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