Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
