she is the kim kardashian of front butts
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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