So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Randomize
