this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
