He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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