is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
